Today was a pretty decent day. I woke up fairly early this morning, unable to fall back asleep. I hung out with my boyfriend in bed for a while, just talking and watching tv. We hung out for a little downstairs too, again just watching tv and talking. I love mornings like these. Although I’m having trouble sleeping, I’m able to enjoy some nice time alone with my boyfriend.
Eventually he had to go to work so I ended up wrapping Christmas gifts, starting up this blog, and editing some pictures.
Depression sucks. I got a call from my sister and was talking to her a little bit about what’s going on and I am honestly the luckiest person in the world. Depression sucks so bad. It’s not something you can just shake. It’s not something you can easily stop from bubbling to the surface. My sister fortunately understands this and has been really supportive of my decisions. It’s important to know, no matter how lonely I feel, no matter how alone I believe myself to be, I’m not. There are countless amounts of people who love and care about me, and for that I am lucky. And extremely grateful.
When my boyfriend got home from work, he asked me how my day was. It was fine. And not fine like when women are in a pissy mood and say they’re fine. It was truly fine. But then it wasn’t…
The stupidest things trigger depressive episodes and anxiety attacks. I got extremely sad, like so sad that I physically could not control my frown. And then come the waterworks. I don’t understand it, and I don’t think I ever will…but…I am determined to stop these depressive episodes. This particular one passed extremely quickly and I immediately wanted to write about it so I guess this is a step in the right direction.
Hopefully a step down the path to happiness. I know…I know… I have to create the path to happiness. My path to happiness.
Nature makes me happy, so I think I’m going to be adding some of my photos at the end of these blogs.