Day 34

Today was another relaxed day for the most part.

I unfortunately started it off having an asthma attack at like midnight. My boyfriend has been so good to me since I’ve developed it and he’s always up and helping me when I’m having a hard time breathing. I know you’re not supposed to, but I compare my relationships and I just think back on my exes and think about how lucky I am to have my boyfriend now. I never thought I had bad relationships. I thought they were pretty standard and I never really got treated badly. Cheated on, raped in one, but I was never treated bad throughout the duration of the relationship like I feel most abusive situations are, physical or emotional. When I started hanging out with my boyfriend now, it was completely different. This is how a relationship should be, this is how a man should treat a woman. Yeah, we have bad days. We argue, I want to kill him sometimes, I’m sure I annoy him a lot and we both struggle with a lot of trust issues. But at the end of the day (or the middle of the day, or the beginning, night time etc etc…) I just snuggle up against him and I feel the safest, happiest, and most trusting ever. He just makes everything better. 

I’m not really sure why I went on a little rant about how amazing my boyfriend is haha. I feel like when I started typing it there was a specific purpose to it. Oh well. 

Anyway, we fell back asleep pretty quickly but I was in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. I keep waking up just sweaty and itchy. I don’t know what’s been going on! 

I ended up taking one of those St. John’s Wort pills this morning. I felt in a down mood and I think it actually helped. My boyfriend and I hung out before he had to go to work. I took a nap when he left for work and now we are probably going to have dinner and plan our vacation a little more. 

I. Can’t. Wait. Til. February. It’s going to be so much fun!

I won’t be able to write a blog for 8 days I think. I will try to write a little update right before we set sail then a recap of the vacation after we get back to the US. 

I’m so excited!

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Author: Michele

I am a 23 year old from Rochester, NY just trying to fight the monster in my head.

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