Day 48 & 49

Yesterday I told my boyfriend what went on at the doctor. He understood everything, which is a relief because I felt like a rambling baphoon. 

Literally just stopped typing this to ask my boyfriend how to spell baphoon, then proceeded to have a conversation about how oddly spelled it was 😂. 

Anyway, he understood everything and it felt good getting it out in the open. It’s good knowing what seems to be going on. I just feel like I have control over it. 

Today (49) my anxiety was through the roof. I have no idea why, it was just such a bad day for it. My boyfriend and I hung out in the morning and I told him my anxiety was really bad and he did help a bit with comforting me. But as soon as he went to work I felt so anxious. I went tanning and it was probably the most relaxed 15 minutes of the day. I just turned up the radio and laid completely still in the tanning bed. I’m shocked I didn’t fall asleep! I went to my moms house after and just hung out there for a bit. For the past couple hours I’ve been home watching YouTube videos and browsing all my social media platforms. My boyfriend is home now and we are just relaxing for the evening. The goal is to get really high tonight and just have a good one eating food and watching game of thrones with the love of my life. 

Yes please. 🙌🏻👌🏻💚

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Author: Michele

I am a 22 year old from Rochester, NY just trying to fight the monster in my head.

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